Don't Cry
by hobbleit
Summary: AU. It's been a few months since the wedding and Syed can no longer deny his feelings for Christian. How will everyone react when the find out?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Don't Cry Chapter One  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: none for this chapter. Has implied sex but no actual description since I'm crap at writing smut  
Notes: Title and lyrics from the Guns N Roses song of the same name. This is my first Chryed fic over 400 words long so feedback is greatly appreciated  
Dislaimer: Don't own Eastenders or its characters. Once again I'm only causing them angst and pain for my own amusement**

**Don't cry**

Chapter One

_Talk to me softly  
There's something in your eyes  
Don't hang your head in sorrow  
And please don't cry_

It was quiet when the house was empty, Syed mused as he sat alone. Everyone had gone out for the evening but Syed had claimed to be ill so he could stay at home. He wasn't really sick but he just wanted some time to himself to think. He had been married now for several months but he found he could not get Christian out of his head. He thought about him every minute of every day; wondering what he was doing and how he was feeling. Christian was in his head and his heart and no amount of pretending was going to change that.

Slowly, Syed picked up the phone and stared at it in his hands. He desperately wanted to call Christian just to talk to him but he didn't have the nerve. He hadn't seen Christian much since the wedding but every time he had Christian had been with a different man. Syed knew it was just Christian's way of moving on but it always break his heart a little more to see it. He didn't even know if Christian actually wanted to see him. They had barely said two words to each other. Taking a deep breath; Syed summoned up the nerve to dial Christian's number.

"Hi," he said quietly. "I was wondering if we could talk," he sat there in silence as he awaited an answer.

Christian silently entered the house when Syed opened the door for him. He had to admit Syed looked good, if slightly nervous.

"Would you like something to drink?" Syed asked politely, not sure what he should be saying in this situation. It was the first time he had spoken to an ex-lover before.

"Coffee," Christian smiled awkwardly and followed Syed into the kitchen. He had never imagined that things would be like this between the two of them. Filled with small talk and uncomfortable silences. He watched Syed intently as he made them both a cup of coffee before placing a mug on the table and sat down opposite him. "So, for what do I owe the pleasure of wanting to speak to me?"

"I needed to see you," Syed admitted, his hands shaking so much he had to grip his mug tightly. "I miss you."

"Haven't we already had this conversation? If I remember correctly it ended with you getting married," Christian mocked slightly, the sarcasm dripping in his tone.

"I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what?"

"Pretend," Syed told him, tears welling up in his eyes. "I can't pretend anymore that I don't want to be with you; that I'm happy being married. All I've ever wanted is you and it's breaking my heart not being with you."

"That's the way I've always felt, so why the sudden change?"

"You're all I think about," Syed said as he wiped a tear away that had fallen down his cheek. Christian felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of the man he loved in pain. All he wanted to do was reach out and comfort the younger man but he was unsure of what to do at the moment. "I think about kissing you, holding you, making love to you and it's making me crazy. I just want it to stop but it won't. Tell me how I can make it stop," Syed begged, the tears flowing more now. He couldn't make it stop.

Christian stood up and moved over to Syed, kneeling down in front of him between his legs and rubbed his arms.

"I can't because I don't know how to myself. I want to tell you that it will get easier with time; that eventually you will stop thinking about me but I can't. Because I'm not there yet."

"Then what do we do?"

"I don't know," Christian admitted; he could also feel the tears well up in his eyes. "I think the only thing we can do is leave things as they are. I tried so hard to make you leave with me and I am so tired of fighting for you."

"I don't want to think of my life without you," Syed cried. Christian reached up and cupped Syed's face with his hands.

"Shh don't cry," Christian soothed. "I will always be here for you; I promise, but you have to want me. If and when you decide that you want to be with me then I will be there like a shot. Until then I will be waiting and hoping that someday you will want me."

They stayed like this for a few moments before Christian decided it was time that he left. He stood up and stroked Syed's face one more time. "I'll be waiting."

Just as Christian was about to leave; Syed stood up and grabbed his arm. "Don't go," he whispered and pulled Christian close. Their lips brushed as Christian wrapped his arms around the younger man and he pulled him in for a loving kiss. "Please... stay," Syed whimpered breathlessly as the kiss ended.

"You sure?" Christian asked and Syed nodded silently as he grasped his hand tightly and led him upstairs.

* * *

Syed lay in Christian's arms, never wanting the moment to end because as soon as it did he knew he would have to face reality again and that was not something he wanted to do just yet. It had been a hard few months living without Christian and he didn't want to continue any further.

"What happens now?" Syed asked quietly.

"It's up to you," Christian replied, kissing the top of Syed's head gently.

"I don't think I can lie anymore. I don't want to pretend but I'm scared."

"You can do this, Syed," Christian quietly encouraged him.

"We can't stay here. Not if I tell everyone. There's no way that can happen."

"Then we'll leave; start a new life somewhere else. Somewhere we can be ourselves and not have to hide."

"I like that idea," Syed sighed. "It sounds perfect."

"We could leave tonight. Just slip out and no-one would ever know."

"No," Syed said, sitting up. "I have to do this right. I have to tell Amira myself. I owe her that much." Syed threw back the covers and rooted around the floor of his bedroom for his discarded clothing.

"I think you left your shirt on the stairs," Christian grinned as he followed suit.

"Thanks," Syed threw the door open and hurried down the stairs to pick up his shirt. Just as he grabbed it, he looked up and saw Amira standing there.

"You got your shirt?" Syed heard Christian say as he also appeared on the stairs. "Oh," he said as he too saw Amira.

"What's going on?" She asked.

Syed took a deep breath and prepared himself for the backlash.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: See chapter one for notes and disclaimers**

**Chapter Two**

_I know how you feel inside I've  
I've been there before_

_Something changin' inside you  
And don't you know?_

Amira had been missing Syed all night and just wanted to return home to him. After excusing herself early, she returned home and was really not expecting to find Syed stood on the stairs without a shirt. She was even more surprised to see Christian behind him.

Syed didn't know what to say. Every word he had planned on saying to Amira; telling her he was in love with Christian disappeared from his head the moment she had seen him. He knew in his heart that she had realised what was going on but the words she needed to hear to confirm this would just not leave his lips.

"What is going on?" Amira repeated and Syed could hear the anger in her voice; as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Amira," Syed said, as he struggled to pull on his shirt and still not able to form complete sentences to speak properly.

"Maybe I should go," Christian said quietly to Syed.

"I think you should tell me what's going on," Amira said once again. Syed sighed heavily before making his way down the remainder of the stairs until he was stood next to his wife.

"We need to talk," he told her before turning towards Christian. "You should go, I'll see you later."

"Okay," Christian gave a small smile and took Syed's hand in his, not seeing the point in hiding it anymore. "Call me," he instructed and Syed nodded dumbly.

After Christian had left and Syed was left alone with Amira, his calm exterior crumbled and he could feel everything falling apart. "Amira," he said.

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long has it been going on?" She asked trying her hardest not to let the facade she had built up crumble as she felt her heart beginning to break. It all made sense now and seeing the two of them together had slotted the final piece into place.

"A while," Syed quietly replied.

"How long is a while?"

"Since last summer."

"SINCE LAST SUMMER?!" Amira shouted, finally losing control. "You've been cheating on me for almost a year?"

"I'm sorry," Syed said, fighting back tears but knowing that those words could never be good enough.

"You're sorry? That's all you can say? You've been having an affair with Christian and all you can say is that you're sorry? How about an explanation about why you did it? Tell me why did you do it?"

"I don't know why I did it," Syed confessed. "I've had these feelings for so long and I tried to deny them but with Christian I couldn't."

"There were others? When? How many?"

"Apart from Christian, four others," he admitted.

"Four?!"

"All one night stands," Syed said as he sat down on the stairs and rested his head in hands. "None of them meant anything, but Christian..."

"Christian what?" Amira asked angrily.

"Christian I fell in love with."

"You're in love with him?" Amira sounded disgusted by what Syed was saying. "So all the time we were engaged and you told me you loved me that was all a lie?"

"No," Syed replied, tears falling feely down his face. "I do love you... just not in the way you want me to. Not in the way I love Christian."

* * *

Christian was worried about Syed. He hadn't heard from him yet and he had left him over half an hour ago. He wondered what was happening. He desperately wanted to run out of his flat and rush back over but he knew that would only make things worse. So he just sat there and waited for Syed to come to him.

* * *

"I feel sick," Amira cried as she wiped the tears away from her cheeks. "I can't believe that you could do this to me. I don't understand why."

Syed wanted to stand up and wrap his arms around his wife. He felt sorry and ashamed for what he had done to her and how it had all come out but he wasn't sorry for the love he felt towards Christian. He knew that if he tried to hug here then she would just push him away, scream at him and call him all the names under the sun. Truth be told, he really did deserve it. He had broken her heart, ripped her to shreds and destroyed her life. There was no coming back from this now and he was just going to have to live with it. There was no way that either of them was going to walk out of this house with any dignity left.

"I don't know how to make this better," Syed said in a very small voice, so quiet Amira barely heard it.

"You can't," she cried. "Nothing is ever going to make this right."

"What happens now?" Syed asked.

"I don't know," Amira admitted. As angry as she was with her husband, she really didn't want to have to face the shame of being married to a gay man. Her life would be unbearable if everyone in the community found out.

"I should go. I shouldn't be here."

"And what are you going to tell your family? They'll want to know the reason why you're leaving."

Syed stood up from his place on the stairs and walked into the kitchen. He felt the need to be doing something other than sitting and contemplating confessing all to the rest of his family so he grabbed the coffee cups residing on the table from earlier and began to wash them.

He had wondered how his family would react when they found out many times. His mother had broken his heart with her reaction, how she had refused to listen to what he had to say; told him he would love Amira in time when he knew that it could never really happen. Would his father react the same way? Would he tell him he was ashamed to have him as a son, to never darken his doorstep like the last time he had disappointed him? Or would he be more understanding then Zainab?

Amira simply let him be and removed herself to the living room so she could mourn the breakdown of her marriage in peace. After what seemed like an eternity, Syed heard the door open as his parents returned home.

* * *

**Family reaction up next :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: next chapter up. Note Zainab's lack of reaction. There's a point to that which will be revealed in a later chapter**

**Chapter Three**

_Don't you cry tonight  
I still love you baby  
Don't you cry tonight  
Don't you cry tonight  
There's a heaven above you baby  
And don't you cry tonight_

They sounded happy; that was the first thing he noticed when his parents walked through the door. He was about to ruin this happiness with what he was about to tell them. He clutched the edge of the sink and took a deep breath to push the sudden wave of nausea that engulfed him before steeling himself and leaving the relative safety of the kitchen to face his parents.

They had already seen that Amira was crying but she had not told them the reason why. That pleasure was completely up to him.

"What's wrong?" They asked, sitting down on the sofa beside her, one on each side. Amira didn't answer though, she was too busy crying. Masood put his arms around her and pulled her into a hug; acting like the father he had become to her.

"Mum, Dad," Syed greeted them as he walked nervously into the living room. It was the moment of truth; there was no going back now.

"What's going on?" Masood asked Syed, looking very concerned for Amira.

"I have something to tell you all," Syed told them and looked at his mother. For the first time since the wedding she looked directly into his eyes and saw the pain and anguish in his face. She knew exactly what he was going to tell them. And she was desperate for him to keep that particular secret to himself.

"Syed... don't" she pleaded quietly; so quiet that Syed struggled to hear her.

"I have to," Syed said by way of an apology; there was no way he was going to turn back now. "I have to tell you all this."

"Tell us what?" Masood asked; feeling extremely concerned now.

"I've been hiding something from you all and I tried my hardest to deny it but now I realise that I can't any longer. I am really sort for the hurt and shame but I can't live my life as a lie. Please forgive me."

"What are you talking about?"

Syed looked at Zainab and once again she tried to silently to dissuade him from telling them. Syed simply closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "I'm gay," he said.

"What?" Masood asked quietly; his voice filled with shock and disbelief.

"I'm gay," Syed repeated. "I am so sorry," tears were once again falling down his face and he choked back the large sob that had risen into his throat. "I just couldn't carry on living a lie."

Masood just sat and stared at him. Zainab couldn't even manage to do that; choosing instead to stare at the ground; not trusting herself to not do something stupid. Tamwar also didn't say anything, he was too shocked.

"I've been in a relationship with a man for the last few months," he admitted but he wasn't ready to tell his father and brother who it was just yet.

"You've been cheating on your wife?"

"It ended before the wedding. I ended it before the wedding but I haven't been happy. I haven't been happy for such a long time and tonight I realised I can't go on like this," Syed told them. Amira simply sobbed and ran out of the room, not wanting to hear any more. Syed felt guilty for hurting her so much.

"Who is it?" Masood asked. "Who is it that you've been seeing?"

"Christian."

"And how long exactly has it been going on for?"

"Since June."

"You've been hiding it that long?" Masood's voice rose in shock and anger and Syed felt his heartbreak for the third time.

"I tried so hard to stop these feelings. I married Amira because I was told it was the right thing to do, that eventually I would learn to love her and forget Christian but it didn't happen. I think about him every minute of every day and I can't see my future without him in it."

Masood stood up and walked over to his son; standing right in front of him. He looked calm, too calm and Syed was right, confirmed when he felt Masood's fist connect with his jaw. He felt his head snap back and the taste of blood filled his mouth.

"Get out!" Masood instructed. "Leave this house now."

"Dad, please," Syed begged but Masood didn't listen.

"How could you have an affair behind your wife's back? How could you betray her like that?"

"I'm sorry."

"That's not good enough Syed. I want you out of this house now."

"Mum?" He whispered softly, even though he knew that she would not back him up on this. He was already perfectly aware of how she felt about his confession and tonight would only reinforce this. Even make it worse.

"Just go Syed," she told him bitterly. "There is no place for you here anymore."

Syed knew that he had to leave. Nothing he could say would make his family change their mind. His mother and father both hated him and his brother had not expressed an opinion one way or the other, so with a heavy heart he turned and headed towards the door without another word. Closing the door behind him, he hurried over to Christian's flat as quickly as he could; hoping desperately that no-one would see him in this state. Pressing the buzzer frantically, he waited for Christian to let him in before rushing up the stairs and into his arms. He buried his face into Christian's neck and allowed the older man to hold him while he cried.

"It's going to be okay," Christian whispered. "It's all going to be okay," but Syed didn't know how it ever could be okay. His family hated him and would never speak to him again.

So he just continued crying until he felt the dark wave of sleep begin to engulf him and he welcomed it. He just wanted the pain to go away.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: No I have no idea where this is story is going, I'm making it up as I go along. Also, I wanted Mas to ultimately have the opposite reaction to Zainab which is why I wrote him more understanding. Plus it'll lead to more conflict.**

**Chapter Four**

_Give me a whisper  
And give me a sigh  
Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye_

Syed hadn't slept much that night; he just kept replaying the scenes from the previous night over and over again in his head. At about four in the morning he left the safety and comfort of Christian's arms and sat down on the sofa; wrapping his arms around his knees in a desperate, yet futile, attempt at keeping out the cold. He even had to wear some of Christian's clothes; which were far too large for him, since he had left the house without any of his own.

He closed his eyes and tried to push the pain to the back of his mind but his mind wouldn't let him. It seemed intent on punishing him. Unable to stop himself, he started to cry again; although by now he wasn't exactly sure what he was crying for now. Was it for the breakdown of his marriage? The pain he had caused? The fact his family hated him? He couldn't tell anymore; they had all merged into one giant lump of pain.

"Are you okay?" He heard Christian say as he sat down next to him and pulled him into his arms.

"No," Syed admitted as he buried himself into Christian's neck and allowed himself to be held.

"They'll come around," he tried to reassure him.

"They won't, they made their feelings perfectly clear when they told me to leave. You're all I have."

"And I'm not going anywhere," Christian promised.

* * *

"I really don't feel like going out," Syed told Christian later on the same day.

"You can't stay cooped up in here forever," Christian tried to reason with him.

"I don't have any proper clothes, I'm wearing yours."

"Then you can go and get yours."

"But what if I see them? I don't think I can face them right now."

"You have to eventually."

Syed sighed; he had to agree with Christian but it didn't mean that he had to like it. "Okay."

"I'll hold your hand if you want me to," Christian said and Syed had to smile at that.

"That's not necessary."

"Come on then," Christian said as he opened the door and held it open for Syed before they both exited the flat.

It was funny, Syed noticed, that even when the entire world was collapsing down around you; nothing around you seems to change. There were still people rushing about on their daily business, going to and from work; meeting up with friends and dealing with their own problems. Somehow, it just didn't seem right.

It felt better that Christian was stood right beside him and although they weren't touching, his presence calmed and reassured Syed.

Right until he saw Zainab and then it all just went to hell. He tried desperately to avoid her but she seemed intent on picking an argument with him.

"How could you?" She shouted. "How could you do that to your wife?"

"I'm sorry," Syed apologised.

"Sorry? You're sorry? That is not good enough, Syed. You have betrayed your wife and your family by choosing him. You can't ever be sorry enough for that. Did you know that Amira spent the entirety of last night crying? You broke her heart and you can't ever make up for that," Syed couldn't think of anything to say in response. Christian, on the other hand, had plenty to say.

"How dare you?" He shouted back. "You have no right to interfere with his life like this. If it wasn't for you then it wouldn't have got this far."

"Christian, don't," Syed pleaded. "Let's just go," he said, noticing that people were starting to stop and stare and turned away before heading back to the flat. Christian gave Zainab one final look of disgust before following Syed. "I didn't even pick up my things," he said sadly.

"We'll get them later," Christian replied, kissing him softly on the forehead. "Come on back up," he said; opening the door and letting Syed in.

* * *

Christian eventually had to leave to go to work; which meant that Syed was left alone in the flat. He was quite surprised to hear the buzzer; he wasn't expecting anyone to visit today. At first he resisted answering since he didn't really feel like speaking to anyone but the buzzing persisted. Eventually, Syed stood up from his position on the sofa and answered the phone. He was quite surprised to find his father on the other end. He pressed the button to allow his father to come up, still shocked to find him there.

"I brought some of your things," his father explained as he placed the bag on the table. He sounded calmer than he had done last night.

"Thanks," Syed replied and closed the door.

"Not in a chatty mood are you?"

"Forgive me for the lack of pleasantries but being publicly humiliated by my mother doesn't exactly make me want to talk."

"How are you?"

"Apart from a split lip? I'm fine," Syed replied as he took up his former position on the sofa. "Why are you here?"

"I may have over-reacted last night," Masood admitted and Syed just stared at him until he explained further. "I wasn't angry about you being gay, I could have lived with that; it's not like you could change that. I was angry because of how you went about it. You dragged Amira into this and you could have just let her go."

Syed could feel himself starting to cry again, much to his own anger. "I didn't know what else to do," he admitted. "I wanted to stop it but everyone was telling me that what I was doing with Christian was wrong and that I should marry Amira because I would learn to love her as a wife but it didn't happen. I tried so hard to love her but I love Christian more. I spent so much time trying to stop myself from feeling this way but it only just got stronger. I just couldn't lie to myself anymore."

Masood felt himself start to feel very sorry for his son. He could see the man was heartbroken and had been faced with an impossible decision. "You could have told us, we could have helped."

"Yeah, helped," Syed snorted sarcastically. "When mum found out she told me if I didn't marry Amira then I was on my own."

"Wait, your mother knew?" Masood asked in disbelief.

"You didn't know?" Syed was shocked. "I thought she would have told you after last night."

"No."

"Please don't be mad at her, she was only doing what she thought was best."

"I should go."

"Please dad," Syed begged. Masood could only nod in response; he was feeling very angry a she stood up to leave. Now Syed felt guiltier as he knew this would lead to an argument between his parents.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, this chapter was hard to write. Now just remember I still have no idea where this story is headed. I have vague ideas for plots but nothing concrete.**

**Chapter Five**

_Don't you take it so hard now  
And please don't take it so bad  
I'll still be thinking of you  
And the times we had, baby_

"How could you keep this from me?" Masood shouted at his wife. "You knew all this time and you didn't tell me."

"I was doing what I thought was best. I thought that if Syed married Amira then it would all be fine."

"But it's not, is it? Syed is still gay, Amira is heartbroken and it is ripping our family apart. You shouldn't have kept this from me."

"What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just stand there and watch as he made a huge mistake."

"He made a huge mistake by marrying Amira. You should have stayed out of it and let him make his own decision."

"And let him bring shame on our family?"

"So that's what it's about really? You didn't want him to shame you. Well the end result is still the same. He's still gay and he has still shamed you. Very well done, your plan worked a treat."

"Don't talk to me like that," Zainab ranted. "I tried my best to stop this from happening, I did what I thought was best."

Tamwar was sitting on the stairs as his parents argued; annoyed by the situation. He had tried to stop them but they had ignored him, as usual so now he was relegated to sitting and watching as everything fell apart. Deciding he couldn't take it anymore as the arguing degenerated into Punjabi, he threw on his coat and left the house.

"Mum and dad are arguing about you," Tamwar announced as he came through the door and flounced onto the sofa. "In Punjabi," he added, causing Syed to wince in mock pain.

"Is that bad?" Christian asked.

"They always argue in foreign languages when it's bad," Syed explained.

"Oh."

"Yeah. How long have they been arguing?"

"At least an hour, possibly longer. I had to get out of there."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Everything, it can't be easy for you being stuck in the middle."

"Well you did act like an idiot," Tamwar said and Syed glared. "Well you did. You could have stopped this any time you wanted but no, you had to do what you always do and let it get so far out of hand so everyone involved gets hurt."

Syed didn't really have anything to come back with, Tamwar was exactly right and he did deserve this.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"You're surprised I didn't based on the reaction I got last night?"

"I'm fairly certain dad wasn't angry because you said you were gay. In fact I think it was because you cheated on your wonderfully beautiful wife with that old man," Tamwar smirked and Syed knew his younger brother was okay with it.

"Hey," Christian said, feigning insult. "I suppose this is where I offer you something: tea, coffee, a clip round the earhole?"

"Tea'll be good thanks," Tamwar ignored the rest of Christian's comment. "Can I hide out here for a while? Just until the shouting stops."

"Of course you can."

"Thanks. Dad's on your side, you know."

"I know. He came to see me earlier. I don't think he's too happy that mum kept this from him though."

"That's what most of the shouting was about."

"How do you really feel about all this?"

"You really went about it all the wrong way but I can't hate you for it. It's not that you're gay that's the problem; it's the fact that you hid it from us all. You felt like you couldn't talk to us. You could have said something and then maybe it wouldn't be such a mess."

Syed knew what Tamwar was saying was right. He had gone about his all wrong and now he was living with the consequences of his actions.

"What about Amira?" Syed asked; he wanted to know how she was.

"She cried all last night then this morning she packed some things and said she was off to see her dad."

Syed felt his stomach drop. Qadim was a scary man at the best of times but now he had broken his daughter's heart when he promised he would look after her. Syed was terrified of the consequences.

"Don't worry," he heard Christian say to him. "It's going to be okay."

One week later

"Come on, you should go out," Christian said. "You've been holed up in the flat for the last week. You can't stay in here forever."

Syed had refused to leave the flat since the confrontation with his mother in fear that he would see her again. Although he wouldn't admit it, he was also worried about how everyone else on the square would react. He knew that was stupid and that it didn't actually matter what they had to say but he couldn't get it out of his head. This was beginning to frustrate Christian as he knew that it wasn't doing Syed any good.

"I'm okay where I am," Syed replied, like he did every day. "I just don't feel like going out."

"I know you don't want to run into your mum but you have to leave the flat at some point, you can't keep living like a hermit."

"I'm just not ready to go out yet, I need more time."

"Need more time or do you just not want to be seen in public?"

"Christian, please."

"Is that what this is about really? You're ashamed to be with me."

"I just don't want to rub it in my family's face."

"You mean your mum's face? She's going to have to get used to the fact we're together eventually and I am not going to hide my feelings for you anymore. I spent months doing that and now we're a proper couple I refuse to pretend you're just a friend and not something more."

"Can we please not talk about this now?"

"How about I give you all the space you need?" Christian told him as he grabbed his jacket, threw it over his shoulders and headed towards the door. "I'm going to work. If you decide you want to talk you'll know where I'll be," he said before leaving and slamming the door shut in frustration and anger; leaving Syed alone with his thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Finally got this chapter written. I did get the first 700 words written on Thursday but then I got my new ipod and fic writing went out the window (it is rather addictive). Also is there anything anyone wants me to write about (like an actual plot?). Just say and I'll add it in**

**Chapter Six**

Christian was in a foul mood when he made his way into the Vic. The argument he had with Syed made him want to punch the wall in frustration. He had tried to understand where his lover was coming from but it was getting harder and harder to empathise with him. He just wished Syed would hurry up and get out of this self pity pit he had dug himself into. His thoughts were interrupted by Roxy.

"Oi, you, why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" He replied irritably.

"That you were still with that bloke from ages ago. You could've told me but I had to hear it from Jane. You still haven't told me who he is."

"Sorry."

"So who is he then?" Roxy was desperate to know.

"I want to tell you but it's not my place. He's not ready for people to know yet."

"Why not?"

"He hasn't been out long. The only people who know are his family and mine. It's the way he wants it for now and I have to respect that."

"But you're not happy about it."

"Of course not. I want to tell the world but he doesn't."

"Is he worth it?"

"Yes," Christian told her without hesitation. No matter how mad Syed had made him today, he wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

Syed had spent the day sitting in Christian's flat stewing over the previous argument. He knew that Christian had a point, he had to come out eventually but he also knew that he wasn't prepared from the inevitable backlash from the residents of the square. Then again his love for Christian was slowly starting to override these fears, Syed knew that Christian would be there for him no matter what happened and now Syed would need to be there for him.

Steeling his resolve, Syed got up and made a decision. He was going to show everyone how he felt about the man he loved. Grabbing his jacket, he followed Christian to the Vic.

* * *

Christian wasn't paying any attention to anything Big Mo was talking about today, some new scam or other; he just wasn't in the mood. His mind was solely on Syed. He had wanted to call and apologise but something told him not to; to just wait and see what happened. It didn't make him feel any better though. There was a pain in his gut that had settled there and nothing could make it better.

Then Syed walked cautiously through the door. He looked beautiful, Christian thought. The look on his face was scared and unsure but he had never looked more perfect. Syed smiled slowly at Christian as he walked over to the bar.

"What can I get you," Christian asked casually, pretending not to be affected by the sight of him.

"Orange juice," Syed replied just as casually.

"Coming right up."

"Christian, can we talk?"

"I've said all I have to say, it's completely up to you now."

"I'm sorry," Syed blurted out. "You're right. I have been hiding from everything and I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be ashamed of what we have and I'm not. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," his voice was low and quiet.

"Are you sure?"

"Completely," Syed told him as he reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently. Christian ran his hand through Syed's hair before gently pulling his head forward and kissing him over the bar. The kiss was perfect; gentle and soft and it made Syed's head spin. When the kiss finally ended, he couldn't think of anything to say.

They pulled back and the first thing Christian saw was Roxy looking shocked but pleased. The second thing he saw was Zainab stood at the door, face like thunder and his heart sank. Their perfect moment had been ruined.

"Mum," Syed gasped when he too saw her. She didn't stay long, quickly turning and storming out of the Vic. Syed turned to go after her but Christian stopped him.

"Leave her be," he said softly. "She needs to come to terms with this on her own, just let her go." Syed nodded slowly in agreement. "Why don't you go home and I'll see you after I finish work?"

"Okay," Syed smiled slightly as Christian leaned in and kissed him again before he left. Christian prepared to go back to work but as he turned he found himself face to face with Roxy.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Not now Roxy."

"Yes now. How could you not tell me this? You were seeing a married man for God's sake."

"He wasn't married when it first started," Christian defended himself.

"Right, you and me are going to have a very long conversation about this now and you're not leaving until I have every single detail, understand?" Christian could only nod his head.

* * *

Syed had fallen asleep on the sofa when Christian finally returned home. He leaned over the sofa and ran his hand through Syed's beautiful hair, not wanting to wake him. He looked perfect when he slept, so handsome and peaceful. Christian knew he could never get tired of watching his lover sleep. He was about to cover Syed with a blanket when he heard him stir.

"What time is it?" He asked sleepily.

"It's late," Christian replied.

"I was going to stay awake and wait for you but you were so long."

"Yeah, I know," Christian said as he sat down next to Syed and pulled him into a hug. "Roxy wanted to talk."

"About us?" Syed asked as he snuggled closer to Christian, resting his head on his shoulder and closing his eyes again.

"Yeah."

"How'd she take it?"

"Annoyed that I didn't tell her earlier but she's okay with it."

"Good."

"Anyway, I think it's time for you to go to bed," he said as he kissed Syed's temple gently.

"I'm comfy here," came Syed's reply.

"Well I'm not, come on," Christian said as he pulled Syed to his feet and leaned in for a kiss, which Syed happily returned. "Besides we can have more fun in bed," Christian gave him a cheeky grin and pulled Syed towards the bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Finally got chapter seven written. Not too happy with it but it'll have to do or i'll never get it posted**

**Chapter Seven**

"Got some funny looks," Christian said as he came through the door of the flat. "Only wanted to get milk. Though. I'm not surprised really after last night." He grinned at the memory of kissing Syed in the pub the previous evening in front of everyone. Personally, he was glad that everyone knew. Now he didn't have to keep it a secret and he could publicly declare that he was in love with the younger man.

"Me neither," Syed replied. "They probably already have you cast as the dirty old man who stole an innocent woman's husband."

"Been called worse," Christian said and Syed laughed slightly. "Anyway; they don't matter, none of them do. I only care what you think," leaned down and gave Syed a quick kiss, not noticing the nervous expression on Syed's face. Christian may not care what they thought but Syed did. "You okay?" Christian asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Dad called when you were out, he wants to meet me for lunch so we can talk."

"Well that's good; give you the chance to talk."

"It is," Syed smiled slightly at the thought. "I just wish my mum would come round."

"She will eventually. She just needs time."

"She's known for months and she still can't accept who I am, I don't think she ever will."

Christian sat down next to the younger man and wrapped his arms around him. Placing a gentle kiss to his temple, he heard Syed sigh and he just held him tighter. "Everything will be okay," Christian said softly, repeating a mantra he had said many times before.

* * *

Syed looked nervously around; waiting for his father to arrive. He had arrived at the pub early and as a result had spent the last ten minutes sitting by himself and nursing a glass of orange juice. He hadn't failed to notice the looks several residents had given him and he had tried to ignore them but it was hard. He wanted to shout at them, tell them he didn't give a damn what they thought; that most of them were hypocrites since it seemed like everyone on the square had been involved in an affair at some point. But he didn't have the nerve so he stayed silent.

He gave a great sigh of relief when he saw his father walk through the door and come over to him. "Are those dirty looks aimed at you?" Masood asked as he sat down. Syed simply nodded. "Is it about last night?"

"Yeah."

"Your mum told me. Or rather ranted at me for an hour about how you managed to shame the family."

"I'm sorry. How is mum?"

"Angry, very angry," Masood replied wistfully. "She shouts a lot."

"I'm sorry," Syed repeated again, not really knowing what else to say.

"Ah, it's not your fault. Well, it is your fault really but you can't stop her from feeling this way. She's not happy about me speaking to you, though and we did have a big fight about her hiding this from me."

"And what about everyone else? They look at me as if I'm some sort of scum for this."

"You could've handled that a little better than kissing Christian in front of a pub full of people, but they're bound to be shocked."

"I know but how can they judge me when they have done the same."

"You'd be surprised. You just have to put up with it until they get bored and find some new scandal to gossip about."

"Just wish they would hurry up. I haven't even spoken to half of these people and they're talking about me like the know me."

"Just give it time." Syed knew he was right but it was still frustrating.

* * *

It was starting to get late. Syed had left his father earlier that afternoon and had spent the remainder of the day walking around and trying to forget what everyone thought of him and Christian. It had worked fine until he made his way back onto the square and saw someone staring at him. It made him feel like there was no-one out there who understood.

In a way he could understand. Amira was the wronged party in all this and it was understandable that people would side with her in this. He had cheated on her after all. On the other hand, though, it did hurt and he wasn't going to deny that fact. He knew that Christian would just tell him to ignore them, let it wash off his back like none of it bothered him. But it did bother him and he wasn't going to pretend it didn't. Maybe that was why he walked around for hours by himself rather than heading straight back to the flat. He just needed the space to think.

Syed wrapped his jacket tighter around his body as he felt a chill run through him. Although it was spring and summer was fast approaching, it was a cold evening and he was in a hurry to get home. He'd had plenty of time to think and now all he wanted to do was to head home. To get away from the prying eyes of the residents of the Square, away from his troubles and into Christian's arms. He smiled at the thought and quickened his pace.

He didn't realise he was being followed. They had been silently following him the entire way back, just waiting for the right time. He didn't hear anyone come up from behind him. He didn't know there was anyone there until he felt the long, cold metal bar slam across his the back of his head and he fell to the ground with a hard thud. He felt the blood pooling at the back of his head and as he struggled to his feet, a foot connected with his stomach and he fell back to the ground; the breath knocked out of him. Syed welcome the darkness as the beating continued and he fell into black.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This is more a filler chapter before the main emotional stuff happens next chapter.**

**Chapter Eight**

Christian paced up and down the waiting room for what seemed like the millionth time. He had been waiting for hours but he hadn't been told anything about Syed's condition. All he had been told was that his lover had been attacked. Feeling sick at the thought, he continued to pace until he felt as though he was going to go mad. He needed to know exactly what happened but the only person who could tell him couldn't.

It didn't help that it brought back very painful memories of his own attack all those months ago and how it made him feel afterwards. He knew that Syed would take this badly so he made a resolve to help him get through this as best he could.

"Mr Clarke," he was greeted by Syed's doctor.

"How is he?" Christian asked anxiously.

"He's been beaten rather badly and received a severe blow to the head. We're keeping him in overnight for observation."

"Is he okay?"

"He's groggy and in a lot of pain. I've given him some painkillers to help."

"Can I see him?"

"For a few minutes, we're preparing to take him up to the ward."

"Thank you," Christian smiled appreciatively and followed the doctor to see Syed.

No matter how much he prepared himself for the sight, Christian couldn't help but be shocked at Syed's appearance. His face was a mess, completely covered in dark purple bruises; his left eye was swollen shut. A large white cast was encased on his right arm. Christian sat down next to him and entwined his hand in Syed's.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Christian?" Syed moaned quietly; his voice tired and sleepy.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"Maybe you should go to sleep."

"Don't want to. What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"All blurry."

"Someone attacked you." Christian tightened his grip on Syed's hand as he felt the younger man start to cry. "Hey, it's okay," he soothed but Syed continued to cry.

"I want my mum," he said between sobs. No matter how she had been treating him the last few months he still wanted her here.

"I tried to phone your parents but they were out. I'll try again, okay?" He said and Syed nodded slightly. Christian stood up and headed outside before phoning Zainab.

"Hello?" Zainab's voice echoed down the phone.

"Don't hang up on me Zainab," Christian told her. "Something's happened to Syed. He's been attacked."

* * *

Zainab felt her heart pound in her chest as she and Masood hurried to the hospital. Ever since Christian had phoned she had felt as though she was going to be sick. She had been so horrible to him and now this had happened.

"Christian, how is he?" She asked by way of a greeting.

"He's going to be okay," he reassured her. "They took him up to the ward a little while ago so they can observe him but otherwise he'll be all right."

"Can I see him?"

"There should be a nurse around somewhere to ask. He wants to see you," he told her before she hurried off leaving Christian alone with Masood.

"She's been like that the entire drive over," he told Christian. "She's really worried about him."

* * *

Syed had been sleeping lightly when Zainab entered but woke when he felt her sit down next to his bed.

"Mum?" He whispered quietly.

"Oh Syed," Zainab gasped. "What happened?"

"Not sure, blurry," he replied.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Everywhere hurts."

Zainab didn't know how to react. On one hand she wanted to rant at her son for flaunting his homosexuality, because that was what the attack was for, wasn't it. On the other hand he wanted to wrap him up in her arms and protect him from everything bad.

"How did this happen?" She asked.

"Don't mum."

"Don't what?"

"Don't try and blame this on me being gay, please don't. I just need you to be my mum," he said as he started to cry and Zainab gave in and leaned over to hug her eldest son.

"I want you to come home," Zainab told Syed the next day when she came to visit. She had practically chased Christian out of the ward so she could spend some time alone with her son. "You'll be more comfortable there."

"Mum, you know I can't. I'm not going back until you can accept that me and Christian are together."

"Syed, can't you just do this for me?"

"I am not going to leave Christian if that's what you're hoping for. I'll come home if you can accept us together. Until then I'm staying with Christian."

"Then I suppose you have made your choice," Zainab said calmly as she stood up from her chair.

"Please mum, don't," Syed begged but Zainab still left, almost running into Christian as he came back through the door. Seeing how distraught Syed looked, he hurried straight over to him.

"How bad was it?"

"It made this worse than before," Syed told him. "I just wish she would come around."

"She will," Christian told him but by now even he was having difficulty believing it.

* * *

"How could he choose to stay with him instead of coming home?" Zainab rhetorically asked Masood, not really expecting him to answer; it was more of a rant. "How could he." Masood attempted to answer but Zainab continued. "I mean we are his family and he still decides to be with him. How stubborn is he?"

"Zee," Masood attempted to get her attention but she continued ranting to herself. "Zee," he said louder. This time she stopped. "You're being just as stubborn as he is," he told her. "You need to compromise on this with him if you want him to come home. He said he would if you would accept him and Christian as a couple, why don't you do that? Why don't you make him feel welcome in his own home?"

"I suppose you're right," Zainab sighed and admitted defeat. "I should compromise. But it doesn't mean I have to like it."

Masood just smiled and shook his head. "You should be telling him that not me," he said as he handed her the phone.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Here we are, chapter nine**

**Chapter Nine**

Syed sat quietly on the couch staring into space. He had agreed to come home once his mother agreed that she would not interfere in his relationship with Christian. To be honest he was glad she had compromised on this because as much as he loved Christian he really needed to be close to his family right now.

He now knew how Christian felt after he was attacked. He didn't want to leave the house; he was terrified to. He didn't want to be out there when whoever had attacked him was still out and about and could do the same again. He knew he wasn't being completely rational about this but that didn't matter. He just wanted to cry and never stop.

His family had been very supportive the last few days, trying their best to help him through this. His mother had even kept her opinions about him and Christian to herself. Christian had been over every day. Mostly they just sat together and talked or just sat in silence with Christian holding Syed in his arms. Syed didn't want to talk about the attack so Christian didn't push it. He knew Syed would talk about it when he was ready.

Syed heard a knock at the door but made no attempt to get up and answer it. He knew it was Christian. He came over the same time every day.

"Christian," he heard his mother coolly greet his lover. Although she had compromised about their relationship, she still wasn't happy about it and she let them know that with every opportunity.

"Zainab," Christian greeted back with false enthusiasm, their feelings more than reciprocated. "Is Syed in?"

"You know very well he is."

"Can I come in then?"

"I can't stop you."

"Thank you," he said as he walked past Zainab and into the living room. "Afternoon," he greeted as he flopped down next to Syed, breaking his thoughts.

"Hi," Syed replied as Christian leaned in for a kiss. Syed almost laughed when he heard Zainab tutting in the background but she left them alone.

"How are you today?"

"You know, I'm okay."

"You don't look it. You haven't been out since you got home from the hospital. Why don't you come out for a walk with me?"

"I don't know if I'm up to it."

"You can't spend the rest of your life indoors, Sy; you have to go back out there sometime."

"I just don't feel like it."

Christian stood up and grabbed Syed's hand; squeezing it gently before pulling him to his feet. Syed reluctantly followed as Christian led him to the front door.

"It's not hard. You just have to walk out the door."

Syed stared at the door and he could feel the panic rising inside him. He didn't want to go out there; he wanted to stay inside where he was safe and no-one could hurt him.

"I can't," he gasped as he began to find breathing difficult. "Please," he said as he pulled his hand away from Christian's and ran up the stairs. Christian sighed as he heard the door slam shut. Following his young lover up the stairs he stopped outside the bedroom door.

"Sy," he said quietly. "Open the door." He could hear Syed's pained sobs through the door and wanted to do nothing more than open in and hold him. "I'm sorry."

He heard the door open and Syed stared out at him. The image broke his heart. He looked so small and scared. Christian reached out and ran his hand along Syed's cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb. "Can I come in?" He asked. Syed nodded and he stepped into the bedroom. "This'll give your mum a heart attack," Christian tried to lighten the mood but Syed didn't smile. Christian once again took Syed's hand and he sat down next to him on the bed. "I know what you're going through so talk to me."

"I don't know how," Syed confessed. "I can't even make it clear in my own head."

"Then try."

"I feel trapped. I feel trapped in my own home and in my own head. It is constantly going over in my head and it's all I think about. I can't stop."

"You will, but you can't keep yourself shut up here; you'll only make yourself worse."

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Get over it? Get over the constant fear and the knowledge that whoever did this is still out there?"

"I had you," Christian told him and Syed looked at him, slightly shocked. "I had the most amazing and sensitive man by my side and he helped me realise that I wasn't alone and that I had someone helping me and making everything better."

Syed leaned up and kissed Christian. "Thank you," he said.

"For what?"

"Everything."

"How about we go out. Not do anything, just sit on the wall for a bit and watch the world pass by. How does that sound?"

"That sounds okay," Syed said and allowed himself to be led down the stairs and outside. It took all his nerve to go from the inside hall outside but with Christian next to him he managed it.

"How do you feel?" Christian asked as they leaned against the wall. Syed's hand was squeezing Christian's so tightly that he thought he was going to break the bones.

"Scared still."

"But better?"

"Yeah," he managed to smile.

* * *

A week later and everything was starting to move on. His mother was still passively aggressive regarding his relationship with Christian. Christian still came by everyday to take Syed out; although Syed sometimes thought he came around solely to annoy Zainab. Syed was still nervous with going out by himself but he was feeling a lot better with everything, especially when Christian was with him.

He heard a quiet knock on the door and the familiar fear washed over him. He was alone in the house so there was no-one else to answer the door. He wanted to ignore it until whoever it was went away but the knocking continued. He slowly rose to his feet and cautiously walked to the front door. His hand froze over the handle and it took all his strength to turn the handle and pull the door open.

He genuinely did not expect to see the person on the other side of the door.

"Amira."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: this is just a stop gap to wrap up the storyline with Amira. the rest of the fic will deal with Zainab trying to come to terms with everything**

**Chapter Ten**

"Amira?" Syed sounded shocked as he opened the door and found his ex wife standing there. She had been the last person he had expected to see.

"Oh Syed," she said, genuinely shocked and horrified by the state of his appearance. "You look awful."

"Why are you here? What do you want?"

"I'm so sorry, I am so sorry that this happened."

"How did you know?"

"Can I come in?"

Syed nodded and opened the door wider so she could enter the house. He then followed her into the living room and waited for her explanation.

"I knew he was mad but I didn't think it would go this far, I mean you could have died."

"What do you mean?" Syed asked; feeling worried now.

"Dad. He's the one who did this. Well he didn't do it personally but he paid someone to do it for him. He said he wanted to teach you a lesson."

"Well he certainly did that," Syed said as he slowly lowered himself down onto the sofa, his body still feeling sore from the beating.

"If I'd known at the time I would have stopped him, I only found out yesterday. There's no way I would have let him do that to you."

"I know you wouldn't," Syed told her

"I completely understand if you want to go to the police, he was out of line and he shouldn't have done it."

"Maybe you're being a little harsh."

"I don't think so."

"No, maybe not," Syed smiled slightly.

Amira returned the smile and sat down in the chair. "How've you been?"

"Apart from this? Great."

"You know what I mean. I didn't think you were still living at home."

"I wasn't until I got out of hospital. I was staying at Christians. This is just temporary until I'm feeling better and then I'm going back."

Amira frowned slightly at the mention of Christian's name and stared at the floor. He was still a sore point with her and she couldn't hide it. "Are you happy with him?" She asked, obviously a glutton for punishment.

"Yeah," he said quickly, not really wanting to talk about it. He was already aware of the pain he had caused her and didn't want to rub it in any further.

"We were doomed from the start, weren't we?"

"I doomed us. I should have just admitted I was gay earlier and then none of this would have happened."

"Maybe I should have seen what was in front of my face the entire time we were together. I just managed to humiliate myself."

"It's not your fault. None of this is."

"Thanks but it doesn't make me feel any better."

"I don't suppose it would."

"I was so angry with you; I really did feel like killing you at one point. Then I realised that I couldn't really be mad because I didn't hate you, only what you did. I'm not making sense am I?"

"Yeah you are."

"Anyway, I'd better go; I only came to tell you about my dad. I don't want to out stay my welcome."

"You could never do that," Syed smiled slightly and followed her to the front door. As he held the door open for her; she leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Goodbye Syed, hope he makes you happy."

"Thanks, hope you find someone who gives you the love you deserve."

Amira gave him one final, bright smile before she turned and walked away; not looking back once as she turned the corner and out of his life. Syed closed the door and sighed; a giant weight finally released from his shoulders once and for all. Then he rooted around for his phone.

"Hey," she smiled as Christian answered the phone. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over and I could make us something to eat. Great, I'll see you soon," Syed said as he ended the call.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This is the last chapter of this story but i'm going to write a sequel if anyone's interested**

**Chapter eleven**

Zainab inwardly groaned when she heard Christian's voice coming from the kitchen as she entered the house. Even though she had been trying to hide her feelings towards Syed and Christian's relationship since her son agreed to come home she still hated the thought of her son and Christian together. Syed had once told her that thought of being intimate with his wife made him feel physically sick and that is how she felt about his current relationship. But she had to hold her tongue or her eldest would leave again. She just wished he would see sense and end this charade. Putting up the mask she had been wearing the last few weeks she headed to the kitchen.

"Zainab," Christian greeted with the same false cheeriness she had been using with him. "How are you this afternoon?"

"I'm fine," she told him with a hint of bitterness in her tone. Something which did not go unnoticed from her son.

"Mum," he hissed quietly, nor happy with how she was acting.

"Maybe I should go," Christian said as he stood up, suddenly feeling highly uncomfortable with the situation.

"You shouldn't have to," Syed told him.

"No it's okay, I have some things to do anyway," he said and leaned down and kissed Syed deliberately; knowing full well that Zainab was watching over them with her disapproving gaze. "I'll see you later," he smiled before he left.

"Yeah," Syed said feeling angry at the position his mother was putting him in. Once he heard the door close he turned to Zainab. "Why did you have to do that?"

"Do what?" Zainab asked as if nothing had happened.

"Act like that when I'm with Christian, like he's the lowest form of scum?"

"I do not."

"Yes you do," Syed said, feeling his voice rise higher alongside his anger. "Why can't you just accept that I am with Christian?"

"Because it's unnatural," Zainab snapped and shouted at him. "You can say how much you love him and parade it around the square but it does not change the fact that it is wrong."

"So that's how you really feel?"

"It's how I've always felt."

"How about taking my feelings into consideration in all of this?" He shouted. "I gave up everything to do what you wanted. I married a woman I didn't want to because you didn't want to be shamed. I put up with that sham marriage for months because you said you would be the first to disown me. Now, for the first time in I don't know how long, I am happy but you can't seem to accept that. Do you want me to be miserable for the rest of my life? To spend it with someone I'm not in love with?"

Zainab didn't know how to come back so she just stood and stared harshly at her son.

"I just want you to understand."

"I'm sorry," she told him; her voice low and full of sadness. Her gazed dropped to the ground; she could no longer look at her son. "I'm sorry but I can't."

"Then I can't stay," Syed replied just as quiet. Not waiting for his mother to react, he took off and hurried up the stairs.

Once he was in the safety of his room, he slammed it shut and grabbed the bag residing under his bed. He pulled open his wardrobe and began shoving his clothes into the bag. He knew he couldn't stay here any longer; he couldn't even look at Zainab without wanting to scream. He couldn't stay in the same house; he didn't even think he could stay on the square with his mother looking on with her disapproving stare.

Zipping the bag shut, he opened the door and hurried down the stairs. As he was pulling his jacket on; his father walked through the door.

"What are you doing?" He asked; noticing the bag sitting on the stairs.

"I have to go. I can't stay here with mum."

"What has she said now?"

"That what I'm doing is wrong and unnatural."

"Why don't you just try talking to her?"

"I tried talking to her but she won't change her mind. I have to get out of here before I say something I truly regret," he told Masood and he nodded slightly in understanding. "I'll speak to you later," Syed said as he headed out of the door and over to Christian's flat.

"I can't do it anymore, I can't stay there and have her judging me like I've done something wrong," Syed ranted at Christian. Christian just sat on the sofa and allowed him to get it all out of his system as he paced up and down the small room. "How could she say those things? I mean what possessed her to be so evil?"

"Sy, sit down; you need to calm down."

"I know; you're right," Syed sighed and sat down next to Christian, leaning into him when he wrapped his arm around Syed's shoulder. "I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"We could always leave," Christian suggested. "Go somewhere new, start a life for ourselves."

"I don't want you to feel you have to do this just for me. What about Jane?"

"She'll understand. This is about you and me; no-one else. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and I want you to be happy. We need to start living our own lives and stop feeling so responsible for our families. What do you think?"

"I think that maybe it's a good idea," Syed smiled and leaned in to kiss Christian. "A new start."

"Christian and I have decided to move away," Syed told Masood the next morning.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know yet, we just need to get away from the square; away from all the gossips and dirty looks," and Zainab, but that went unsaid.

"But you'll keep in touch?"

"Of course I will," he said to his father.

"And there's nothing I can say to get you to stay?" He asked but Syed simply shook his head.

"This is just something I have to do."

They left without a big send off, just slipped off quietly into the night but that was the way they wanted it. As long as they were together it would all be okay.


End file.
